I

i breathe


what does it mean?
does it mean i live?
then does living mean just to breathe?
i breathe yet i do not live
i breathe because i was born to breathe
it was my gift and my curse to breathe
i am forced to breathe
i will breathe as long as this rotting piece of flesh prevails
what is this piece of flesh?
is this me?
is it me i see in the reflections on the water?
all i see is a piece of flesh
it must know its fate
it waits just to rot
this is all it can do
yet it was forced to wait for its decay
it is the heir of the gift and the curse of life
i cannot change the ways of fate
as certainly as i cannot change the way of the flesh
and so it keeps waiting
second for second
until finally the curse is lifted
the curse called life
it just bears this existence
this existence which was doomed from the start
it was created to decay
and yet it denies its fate
and until the last moment it breathes

so
hexed by the curse of my existence
i wait
and i bear
as it is everything this rotting meat of me is able to do
i do not know if it is me
and until then all i can do is look at my reflection
and wonder about this strange crimson prison
which breathes
yet does not live