decisions

what is my purpose?
what am i supposed to do?
right now i exist
every moment is a decision
even if it just involves changing nothing
every moment is a decision
even if it leads to my own destruction
even if that decision is to lay in a corner and wait for my demise
every moment is a decision
and if it is just to keep lying
and keep waiting
every moment
but as everything has equal worth in my universe
it does not matter what i do
what decision i make
i am tired of making decisions
but even the decision to end this state where decisions are inevitable
is a decision
the last decision
i do not want to make ANY decision
i do not want to decide
i do not care what exists
i do not care about anything
everything is meaningless and equally worthless (or meaningful and worthy, these terms lose their meaning
as there is no "worth" in my world)
every decision
what am i to decide?
right now
what am i to do?
only my instincts decide
it does not matter
i could try to act against my instincts
it does not matter
why does a state exist in which decisions must be made?
no... why should it not exist?
both are equally meaningless
everything
every possible outcome
every possible state
every possible form
equal
worthless
meaningless